aqua fortis

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Where's My Padded Room?

Okay. I'm officially having my first breakdown during week-before-the-conference madness. Our course t-shirts were delivered to one of the other organizers, but we found out that one area which was supposed to be green was white due to a miscommunication. White for the Sierra Nevada is fine; white for farm fields and the Altamont/Oakland Hills is NOT fine.

I just feel very overwhelmed right now, and very much alone in all this. Rob just sort of seethes if I complain to him, because he's angry about the whole idea of me having had this much responsibility foisted upon me, willingly or not. I'm still covered in stress hives (have been for more or less the past four months, though I'm going to go to the doctor again tomorrow). My house is a mess and I'm behind on all of my REAL work because this has become nearly a full-time unpaid job, most of it reminding people of what they need to do that I told them about a half dozen times already, or doing it myself because they flaked or had an emergency. Apparently I'm not allowed to have emergencies, but everybody else is.

I'm sorry. I'm kind of a downer right now. It's really sad--I used to look forward to this conference every year, but that was before I decided I wanted to "give something back" by "helping."


Corey said...

I'll speak on behalf of all friends that visit here and say:


There, see how warm and fuzzy that made you feel? OK, fine. I just don't have any good words of wisdom to share on your suffering but want you to know that I still think you're okey-dokey. Take two stiff drinks and yell at more people in the morning.

a. fortis said...

Yay! Thanks!

Booze - that's the ticket. So what if it's 3:30 in the afternoon??

Seren said...

3:30 in the afternoon? I've been drinking since noon. Catch up. :)

And good luck! Thinking of you and sending all the good vibes I can spare.

TadMack said...

I'm afraid to ask what I can do to help. I am absolute CRAP at this kind of thing, but you know you could call me and we could BOTH run around like chickens with our heads cut off if need be.

And I know how it feels when the S.O. just sort of seethes. Not helpful, except that it's kind of nice when someone's mad on your behalf. But still.

Definitely smile at everyone during closing ceremonies and gracefully RESIGN. Do.

DaviMack said...

You know, as I tell others (who have posted immediately above me, but will remain nameless), you may think that you've been harsh in your telling people that they're not doing their jobs, or you may think you've read someone the riot act, but you need to get an independent opinion on that, as you've probably only thought the mean things and not actually said them. So there. Give yourself a little more license to be a little bit meaner; really, it'll be just fine.

a. fortis said...

Sadly, I can't resign...but I just want to say that you all rock and I look forward to spending actual time with all of you (or writing to you, as the case may be) in just about nine days.