This Week in Public Radio, Part II

I pretty much just cracked the hell up in my car listening to this segment on NPR's Day to Day about a recent commercial for Ball Park Franks. (At the preceding link you can read the text of the story, which is from ad report card on Slate.) Warning: the topic of girth is discussed in great detail. That's the only spoiler I'm going to give you.

At the end of the NPR segment, I freaked out. No, not from excessive amusement; and no, I haven't had any drugs or even alcohol in the past few days, unless there was something interesting in the mushroom tacos I ate in Mexico on Saturday. What freaked me out is that the name of the guy who wrote the segment is (get ready) Seth Stevenson. And no, I'm not aware of being related to the guy. But a number of thoughts went through my head. Here are some of them:

1. His name is Stevenson, and he's already funny and famous! No fair! He's funnier than I am! Double no fair! He gets to write about commercials! Triple no fair! AARGH!
2. Is there room for more than one amusing, writerly Stevenson in the entertainment world at one time, or will it cause some sort of disruption of the space-time continuum? Will I be incapable of success while he still writes and publishes? Is this why nobody has published me yet?
3. Am I sure he's not related to me through Rob? Because that would be really weird. It might also be cool if I could do some serious coattail-riding.
4. It's like he's an unholy blend of me and my former boss at IGN, Seth Cooper: Seth Stevenson. Eww--I just imagined Seth's head on my body. The reverse isn't pretty either.
5. What if I met this guy and he was like a female version of me? That would also be really weird.

So, yeah. It was strange. But read the article--it's funny.