Cross-Cultural Fun

So I've got two things. The first one I've been meaning to post for a couple of days, and it comes from Corey's blog. It made me laugh so hard I just about started crying. The sad thing is, I'm almost cracking up now just thinking about it. Not much amusement in my day today, I guess. See below about JavaScript--I ended up having to accept my personal limitations (a two-day JavaScript self-tutored crash course...meaning I basically still know squat) and then I was much happier and more effective. I'll show you the result in a week or so. Anyway, go visit Rock, Paper, Saddam for some non-PC fun that doesn't actually cross the line into poor taste (at least, not by my standards...).

This PDF file of "Mots d'Heures: Gousses, Rames (French speakers: say that aloud) is also pretty damn funny. Thanks to Google (is there anything those guys can't do?), you can also view an HTML-ified version.

Cup o' JoeScript

I've just spent my evening getting my ass kicked by this JavaScript slideshow I'm trying to put together by combining scripts from A List Apart, Dasme.org, and Rebecca's Beads (all kind, sharing folks), after spending the last couple of days getting generally acquainted with JavaScript. Argh. Time to quit for the night. Time for today's flashback poetry selections.

Dated 5-7-92:

There once was a gal named Suzy
'Twas rumored that she was a floozie [sic].
Till one with no grace
Told her to her face
And she took out the town with an Uzi.

There once was a Communist pig
Who wore quite a nice powdered wig.
Since he had no remorse,
As a matter of course
He assigned all the citizens trig.

More Blasts from the Past

Something doesn't sound right about that headline. Anyway, before you read some more paroles from my pubescent poison pen, perhaps you might be interested in revisiting the original Quote of the Day article that went with the quote up there in the header. Yeah, apparently I have nothing new to say.

Dated 10-29-91 and titled "So. California Limericks":

A glutton who lived in Tarzana
Once swallowed a quite large banana.
He gasped and he choked,
And finally croaked
While belching in quite a rude manna!

A young Riversider, one day,
Had the gall to come right out and say
That what with the smog
Every time he would jog
His sweats would come back looking gray.

And there you have it. Today's puerile poetry. I hope it was good for you.

And Another Thing...

I have a new favorite TV show. Forget that last "Amish in the City" post--Bravo's "Things I Hate About You" blows it right out of the water. Part of this is due to the show's host, the awesome Mo Rocca, who is a correspondent for the Daily Show as well as making occasional appearances on legitimate "news" shows such as Larry King.

Of course, I found out that Bravo's version of the show is based on a BBC show, but anyway, it still rocks.

Blast from the Past

The things one finds in boxes that have been buried in one's mother's house for years. Honestly. While unpacking one of said boxes, I ran across a notebook of my poetry (if you can call it that) from around age 14-16. While the majority of the notebook's contents consist of crap, angst, crappy angst, crappy bloody angst, and transcribed song lyrics (many of them also crappy), I also found that I apparently had a penchant for writing limericks. Some of these limericks are actually pretty funny, so I've decided to post them here, a few at a time, for your amusement. I will NOT be posting any of the other poetry. Suffice it to say that there was enough death and melodrama to last several lifetimes. Maybe this is why I'm no longer writing poetry...

Dated 10-23-91 (age 14)

A young Texan from Amarillo
Discovered a lump in his pillow
Its cover he rolled,
And lo! and behold,
Out popped a fat armadillo.

Yeah, yeah...Shakespeare it ain't. More soon.